Change is inevitable.

If we aren’t constantly changing and growing, our lives would literally be a straight line. Full of routine and so very, very boring.

Change is a good thing, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.

Control-freaks like me hate change.

We just want to be in control of everything, the way that we like it, and the way that works for us. But change is inevitable. It’s going to happen whether we like it or not. It’s just a matter if we are willing to embrace it.

I’m starting this blog post for a reason.

Last night, I made a decision that I have been praying about for months. And it involves some big changes.

For the past two years, I’ve had the privilege of working as a small group leader with the best group of girls I’ve ever known. We spent hours talking about the love of God in their lives, the roles of their friends and parents, and even why I was their small group leader. We had so many good conversations, so many laughs, and even the occasional tear. These girls taught me what it was like to just let loose and be the person that I was created to be. They taught me how to be spunky and worship like no one was watching, they taught me to be vulnerable, even when my control-freak personality took over a little. I watched them grow in their faiths, and I watched as that lifeline between them and God got stronger.

But chapters like these ones come to an end, while new chapters begin. And last night, I told my group of ten spunky, caring, BEAUTIFUL 7th grade girls that I was no longer going to be their small group leader in the fall.

*cue the waterworks*

To say that they cried would be an understatement. I hugged each and every one of them while they just let it out. Just like I had done previously in a small group time or when one of them pulled me aside during worship.

Being a small group leader is one of the most difficult jobs I’ve ever done. But you get to navigate this strange and scary world with them! You lift them up when they feel their worth is gone, you crack a potty joke while they’re crying to make them smile, you listen to them about the serious stuff, and the stupid stuff, and the good stuff that’s happening to them. You invest in them. And you get attached. Between all of this stuff, I had no idea I had made such an impact in their lives.

I’ve been involved in this ministry since I was 12 years old, as a student! I went through middle school and then I went through high school. I was a part of the worship band in high school, playing both guitar and leading worship. I helped with many of the renovations of the space. When I graduated high school, the youth pastor asked if I wanted to be a small group leader. My original instinct was to say, “no, I don’t have the time.” But I prayed and prayed, and I knew that if I didn’t at least try, I would regret it. And I’m so glad that I did.

Leaving these girls and this ministry after 8 years of commitment and investment is not going to be easy for me. Sunday nights are going to be full of homework and catching up before the week starts. I’m probably not going to know what to do with my time for a little while, but that’s okay. There’s always time to figure it out.

I’m gonna miss these goons. And I know they’re going to miss me. But it’s time for a new era. No matter what, I’m still going to be their leader, even if it’s not officially my title.

All my love to you girls. You’re beautiful and it’s been a pleasure getting to know each and every one of you.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is seen in eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18